Thursday, October 22nd, 2020

Sweet Seduction—The Hidden Truth Booze Makers Don’t Want You To Know

I was chatting with a 67-year-old lady today and she told me her doctor was worried about her drinking. “I have a pinched nerve,” she told me. “The only thing that works is Sav Blanc. But I realized I was drinking too much. You can tell you know,” she said, running her hand over her puffy cheeks.
 
“But some Sav’s make it worse. It’s the stuff they leave out.”
 
I mentioned it may be the stuff cheaper brands (and others) add in – like pesticides and added sugar.
 
This from my books, Mind Your Drink and Your Beautiful Mind
 
SWEET MISERY
 
Have you ever wondered if it’s alcohol you’re addicted to or whether you’re craving sugar? You may also be surprised to learn how much sugar is hiding in your alcohol. You’d probably be blown away to learn that some studies suggest that sugar is 10 times more addictive than cocaine. Cocaine!
 
Personally, I have always favoured the sweeter wines, Riesling, Pinot Gris and Gewürztraminer and others. What I didn’t realise was it wasn’t the variety of grapes I was attracted to but the higher sugar content.
 
Until I began researching my book Mind Your Drink I didn’t even think about how much sugar I was ingesting, nor was I aware of how many alcohol manufacturers add extra sugar to the mix to keep you hooked.
Two or three glasses of wine can easily contain 3 teaspoons of sugar which is 75 per cent of the recommended daily intake for women.
 
A vodka and cranberry easily hides a whopping seven-and-a-half teaspoons, while a G&T offers little to celebrate at four teaspoons of sugar.
 
Don’t be fooled by companies like Coca-Cola who have developed new sub-brands to sell ‘healthy’ alternatives like Cranberry Juice. I nearly got duped until I studied the labels and discovered the differences in sugar content.
 
Current laws don’t compel alcohol companies to disclose what’s hidden in booze, including added sugar. Although, higher than recommended levels of sulphites do have to be disclosed. A move in this direction, including sugar content and the addition of harmful artificial sweeteners, must surely be around the corner—especially as obesity levels continue to soar.
 
A recent report from the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (AIHW) revealed that Australia has one of the highest rates of obesity in the world—a staggering 63% of adults are overweight and obese. Truly alarming.
 
Why is obesity an escalating issue? While food, nutrition, and exercise are all culpable nobody seems to be pointing the finger at epidemic levels of sugar-spiked alcohol consumption.
Instead, we’re being fed the wrong messages and dispensed the wrong advice.
 
While beer is said to contain less sugar than other alcoholic alternatives, you only have to survey men’s beer-guts to sense something is amiss.
 
No, drinking a lot doesn’t make you look sexier, but it does taste nice.
 
No wonder my excess weight peeled off when I gave up booze. Plus, once I was free of the sugar cravings (and the withdrawals) it was easier to cut back.
“Sweets, like heroin, enter the body (and hence the brain) very rapidly,” says neuroscientist Dr. Candace Pert.
 
“Sugar is a drug in a very real sense, and we’re addicted to the ‘up’ feeling we get when our blood-sugar levels soar. This substance directly impacts your molecules of emotion—insulin being the main one. External drugs, internal chemicals, and the emotions— all of these use the exact same pathways and receptors,” writes Candace Pert in Everything You Need to Know to Feel Go(o)d.
 
Sugar is a double-edged sword. Falling amounts of sugar can make you feel anxious, panicky, hyperactive, or depressed.
Too much sugar in your diet makes you irritable, keeps you hungry, speeds up the ageing process, and spikes irrational cravings.
“The demand for it can override your behaviour just as a craving for heroin can, driving you not only to seek more and more sugary foods, but also to engage in behaviours that are associated with blood sugar on the rise. Unlike heroin, however, sugar is legal, plentiful, and cheap, so you’re likely to satisfy that drive from the available supply and become hooked without even being aware of it,” says Pert.
 
No wonder giving up alcohol is doubly hard. It’s a quick highly addictive double-impact hit and an even quicker descent into sugar-fuelled, alcohol-saturated misery if you don’t catch on quickly.
 
A word of caution. Don’t even think about swapping your pre-mixes for drinks marketed as ‘diet’ alternatives. Increasing research warns of the extreme health hazards of Aspartame, an artificial sweetener marketed as Nutrasweet, Equal, and Spoonful (in the UK).
 
For a comprehensive summary of sugar in all its guises I highly Dr. Candace Pert’ excellent book, Everything You Need to Know to Feel Go(o)d. 
You’ll also find a helpful summary of why sugar is bad for you and ways to reduce sugar cravings in the following article:
And for more power to cut back or quit sugar-laced alcohol read this>>https://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/not-so-sweet-truth-alcohol-sugar
This has been an edited excerpt from  Mind Your Drink: The Surprising Joy of Sobriety: Control Alcohol, Discover Freedom, Find Happiness and Change Your Life

To grab your copy from Amazon, click here>>getbook.at/MindYourDrink

To grab your copy from iBooks, Barnes & Noble and other great bookstores, click here>> https://books2read.com/u/bQBLj0

To grab your copy from Kobo, click here>>https://www.kobo.com/ebook/mind-your-drink-the-surprising-joy-of-sobriety-1

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You might like:

Do you feel guilty for wanting more from your career and life?

How might we sabotage ourselves?

Emotional alchemy—the spontaneous healing power of joy

 Why Being Inspired Matters: The Spontaneous Fulfillment and Healing Power of Joy

 

Here are three more things you might like:


Interesting interviews: Listen to my best interviews on topics like overcoming obstacles, finding joy in adversity, following your passion to prosperity.


Online Course: Find Your Passion and Purpose with my best-selling self-paced course made for busy people.


Keynote speaking: Hire me to speak to your organization or team about Resilience, wellbeing, innovation, and motivation.

You can get more of my thoughts on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

For personalised help schedule a session with Cassandra here >>

 

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Friday, October 16th, 2020

How Beauty and Love Can Help You Change Careers and Love Life Again

This quote and the photo I took reflect what gives my life meaning and purpose. I’m drawn to all things beautiful and the people who create and nurture beauty. This gorgeous lily is the one that inspired Monet to paint his famous waterlily series. The lily is this photo has been loving cultivated by David Styles of Te Horo in one of many bathtubs! Oh,  I do so love people with healthy obsessions—passionate people are vitamins for the soul. David Styles is nuts about water lilies. It’s such a beautiful passion that he’s nearly run out of room for them all—so now he has bathtubs overflowing with all his loves. Check out this fabulous ‘bathhouse’ and more about how a healthy obsession can be a liberating thing here http://www.cassandragaisford.com/david-loves-lilly/

 

Here is the rest of Rumi’s poem:

Today, like every other day,
we wake up empty
and frightened.
Don’t open the door to the study and begin reading.
Take down a musical instrument.
Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and
kiss the ground.
~ Rumi, 13th-century Persian, poet, jurist, theologian, and Sufi mystic
Creating beauty is one of the best things we can do to cultivate our souls and enrich the lives of others. Sadly, in some cultures, it is an extremely undervalued skill. My story will not be dis-similar to others – it’s a story of being steered away from my creativity, of being channelled into studying economics and accounting and other supposedly ‘virtuous’ skills. My first job was as a bank teller – to say it nearly killed me is an understatement. Later after finishing my commerce degree I found work as a recruiter – and not long after developed shingles. Slowly I found my way back to creativity, to painting and photography, poetry and writing, colour consulting and many other creative endeavours. I also developed a love of coaching – inspired by helping find and follow their passions, creative calling and soul purpose.
Increasingly I’m guided by the mission and life purpose statement I created last year – it helps me stay focused on the areas of life and work that give life and which I feel compelled to do. I’m sharing it with you here in the hope that something may resonate with you, or that it may inspire you also to let the beauty you love be the work that you do.

Cassandra’s life purpose statement

 

 

I am a creative and inspiring author and intuitive artist who creates enduring beauty that inspires and uplifts.

My values-driven work benefits my partner, my daughter, family and those who enjoy the things I create.

Using my favourite skills, I work with passion, purpose and profit to help people feel happy, inspired and uplifted. I am financially free and enjoy huge wealth (financially, emotionally, spiritually). My books, creations and works of heart benefit others. I am pursuing my passion for helping others.

I benefit personally because I am doing something I feel passionate about and developing new knowledge to share with others. I am spiritually aligned with my life purpose and passion.

 

June 12, 2013, Wellington, NZ

 

In the Art of Success, I share the following:

 

 

 

What induces you, oh man, to depart from your home in town, to leave parents and friends, and go to the countryside over mountains and valleys, if it is not for the beauty of the world of nature.

~ Leonardo da Vinci

 

Your Beauty Spot Is Your Point of Brilliance

If you’ve read my other books you’ll know that I’ve always loved what the artist and philosopher John Ruskin once said, “Where talent, interest and motivation intersect expect a masterpiece.”

Using this as your guide, you may like to draw three circles. List your areas of motivation in one (passion, purpose, values, goals etc.); Your interests and obsessions in another; Your favourite skills and talents in the third.

Note where they overlap. This is your internal world, and what I have in the past called your PassionPoint, or Point of Brilliance.

It’s also your beauty spot. It’s where love lives. It’s the union of your soul—your path with heart which leads you toward your higher purpose. As Leonardo said, without love, what then? It’s where your light shines brightest.

Surround these three circles with a fourth to enclose them. This symbolises the external world—both the practical earth and the higher heavens. So many people have speculated on and sensationalised Leonardo’s greatest works, looking for clues to interpret and break codes to discover sacred mysteries.

But as Leonardo said himself, the truth is best left in the open. That which is above is the same as that which is below. And this is where beauty and success unite.

Leonardo remains an enigma. But we do know he communed with the Universe, saw into the future, and worked damned hard to master his talents and bring his visions into living realities.

 

How Can Your Point Of Brilliance Serve?

To generate career options, knowing what will be needed or in demand, now and in the future, can yield gold.

What needs can you fulfil when you’re aligned with your beauty spot? What economic, demographic, social, environmental or other needs can you serve? This is the work you are called to do and where you will truly shine.

It doesn’t need to have a massive job title, or be about saving the world. But whatever you choose to do has to fulfil a need. Economics 101—no need, no demand.

Of course, if money is no barrier, you are freer to pursue your own needs without this added focus. By doing this you may just create a demand, or make the world a happier place. Importantly, you’ll be happy.

 

Remember Your Criteria for Success

So many people embark on one path only to find it cuts or suffocates other choices. Others mistakenly believe that you can’t have a multitude of passions.

Be clear about who you are, what success means to you, your criteria for fulfilment and begin with this end in mind. Work backwards from the future to implement your success strategy.

 

 

 

OTHER HELPFUL TIPS TO FIND YOUR BEAUTY SPOT

What beautiful things, places, people, situations, or causes inspire you?

If you let the beauty you love be the work you do, what would you be drawn to?

Consider creating your own life purpose statement. Look for the themes.

Gather examples of people who make a career from their beauty. The point is not to chose or select what you would do but to open your awareness of all the possible options. Generate ideas beyond the more obvious careers (beautician; beauty therapist etc.) For example, creating beautiful books is something I discovered recently. In one of my first photobooks, I combined the beauty of flowers, the beauty of soulful poetry into a coffee table book, Flower Power: How Extraordinary Beauty Can Change Your Life.

 

 

 

I hope this has inspired some helpful and beautiful career or life redesign options. If you haven’t already, check out Midlife Career Rescue for more empowering and inspiring career change solutions. Another thing I love is helping people leave jobs they hate and also helping others build beautiful businesses as a Worklife Solutions Certified Career and Life Coach.

 

BOOKS MENTIONED IN THIS POST

 

The Art of Success: How Extraordinary Artists Can Help You Succeed in Business and Life

To grab your copy of the Art of Success from Amazon, click here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IR11NAO

To grab your copy from iBooks, Barnes & Noble and other great bookstores, click here: https://books2read.com/u/bPJqYJ

To grab your copy from Kobo, click here: https://www.kobo.com/ebook/the-art-of-success-5

 

 

 

 

 

Midlife Career Rescue: The Call For Change

To grab your copy from Amazon, click here>>

getbook.at/ChangeCareers

To grab your copy from iBooks, Barnes & Noble and other great bookstores, click here>>

 https://books2read.com/u/bwvVK0

To grab your copy from Kobo, click here>>

https://www.kobo.com/nz/en/ebook/mid-life-career-rescue-the-call-for-change-2020

 

AUDIOBOOK

AUDIBLE

US

https://www.audible.com/pd/Mid-Life-Career-Rescue-Audiobook/B07Z5CCD4C

UK

https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/Mid-Life-Career-Rescue-Audiobook/B07Z5BL9NB

AU

https://www.audible.com.au/pd/Mid-Life-Career-Rescue-Audiobook/B07Z5CDFKV

KOBO

https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/audiobook/mid-life-career-rescue-the-call-for-change-1

 

 

 

Flower Power: How Extraordinary Beauty Can Change Your Life

Ebook:

https://www.blurb.com/ebooks/660219-flower-power

Instant pdf version:

https://www.blurb.com/b/8638155-flower-power

Hardcover Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Flower-Power-Cassandra-Gaisford/dp/199002050X

 

 

 

ONLINE LEARNING—Follow Your Passion to Prosperity

To start achieving outstanding personal and professional results with absolute certainty and excitement. Click here to enrol in my online course. Find out more: https://the-coaching-lab.teachable.com/p/follow-your-passion-and-purpose-to-prosperity

 

 

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You might like:

 

Point of Change. Rewriting his Career in His 60s and Beyond—Brett’s Reinvention Story

Easy, Inspiring Ways to Whip Yourself Out of a Rut in Your Life, Relationships and Career

What 14 Self-Employed Business Owners Wish They Knew at the Start of Their Career

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Thursday, October 15th, 2020

8 Inspirational Stories Teach Valuable Life Lessons

“Beautiful!”

So many people feel anxious, fearful, and stressed right now, but there is something we can do. We can feed our soul. Which is what I did when I wrote my new release, the 5th in the Transformational Super Kids Series, Jojo Lost Her Confidence.

Jojo Lost Her Confidence is the 5th story, in this 8 book transformational education series. Fun focused, and fearless stories of empowered change suitable for ‘kids’ of all ages.

 

Book Blurb

 

Have you lost your confidence? Do you feel discouraged, stressed, or held back? Are you or your child suffering from low self-esteem?

Holistic therapist, award-winning artist, and #1 bestselling author, C. G. Ford is best known as The Queen of Uplifting Inspiration. C.G. Ford’s unique blend of counselling experience and qualifications (BCA, Dip Psych.), creative skills, and wellness and holistic training (Dip Counselling, Reiki Master Teacher) blends pragmatism and well-being savvy with rare and unique insight. Her strength is and out-of-the-box-thinking and empowering anyone wanting to achieve an extraordinary life.

When we are stressed, anxious, bullied, or overwhelmed our confidence can be one of the first things to be lost. Jojo Lost Her Confidence is a short, beautiful story which will help boost self-esteem for women, self-esteem for kids, and self-esteem in men and boy at all ages and stages.

From the bestselling author of The Little Princess comes the next in the brilliant Transformational Super Kids series. These modern-day heroes and heroines tackle modern-day problems with the passion and gusto of warriors.

They defeat cruel critics, they slay savage self-esteem demons, and they show people—jealous of their kindness, talent, and beauty—that their biggest superpower is staying true to themselves.

There are so many reasons why you should follow your dreams. If you need some inspiration, look no further than this book.

Be inspired by this journey to transformation and self-love, and self-belief as our heroine learns to overcome the vagaries of child and adult behaviour. Her personal odyssey culminates in a voyage of healing, self-esteem, and freedom to be who she truly is and who she wants to be.

Bonus: Free Excerpt from The Little Princess.

 

Suitable for ‘kids’ of all ages. After all, aren’t we all still children at heart?

 

Jojo Lost Her Confidence

Available in paperback, ebook, and audio (written and narrated by me!)

Amazon>>getbook.at/Jojo

iBooks and other great online bookstores here>>https://books2read.com/u/49Z0l0

Kobo>>https://www.kobo.com/ebook/jojo-lost-her-confidence

 

AUDIOBOOK

AUDIBLE

USA

https://www.audible.com.au/pd/Jojo-Lost-Her-Confidence-Audiobook/B08F81VCN8

UK

https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/Jojo-Lost-Her-Confidence-Audiobook/B08F83MY46

AU

https://www.audible.com.au/pd/Jojo-Lost-Her-Confidence-Audiobook/B08F81VCN8

KOBO

https://www.kobo.com/us/en/audiobook/jojo-lost-her-confidence-2

 

 

Why I wrote this (tiny golden) book

 

I wrote Jojo Lost Her Confidence for my daughter who messaged me in the wake of the Coronavirus pandemic.

“I’ve lost my confidence a little bit,” Hannah Joy shared.

When we are stressed, anxious or overwhelmed our confidence can be one of the first things to be lost.

I made the story up on the spot to comfort her and allowed the story to speak through me as I left a message for her on WhatsApp.

Hannah Joy is nearly thirty, But confidence places no boundaries on age. I hope this story is a reminder to all of us that, no matter how old we are, what is truly ours can never be lost. Sometimes we just need help bringing back the light.

If you’ve lost your confidence, consider remembering all the things you love about yourself, or that others love about you. Write these down, and look at your list regularly.

Empower this awareness further, by recording affirmations and positive feedback in a digital app on your phone. Listen to these feel-good thoughts daily.

If you are reading Jojo Lost Her Confidence to your child, or they are listening to the audio version, encourage them to do the same.

Introduce an element of play. Go and blow some bubbles and surround yourself with gorgeous prisms of light.

 

Featured reader of the month: Alma Hammond

I’m so grateful to Alma Hammond who is in self-isolation with her husband in Southern France. I reached out to her as I would love to illustrate my Transformational Super Kids books. Alma has written and contracted illustrators for her fantastic series of children’s books. Check out Alma’s Website here>>https://www.sweetbeetbooks.com/

I reached out to her for help. Last night (her morning) we talked via FB live from my home in The Bay of Islands, New Zealand, to Alma’s in Southern France during the Coronavirus lockdown (23 March 2020).

Alma was so kind and generous and helpful. I ended our call feeling so excited.

Some moons ago Alama read and reviewed the third book in my series, The Boy Who Cried.

Curious?

Amazon, click here>> getbook.at/TheBoyWhoCried

iBooks, Barnes & Noble and other great bookstores, click here>>https://books2read.com/u/bPR1Dj

Kobo>>https://www.kobo.com/ebook/the-boy-who-cried-1

 

AUDIOBOOK

AUDIBLE

USA

https://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Cried-Transformational-Super/dp/B07VTRNT61

UK

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Boy-Who-Cried-Transformational-Super/dp/B07VWCX163

AU

https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B07VB6G6VK

 

KOBO

https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/the-boy-who-cried-2

 

I’M HERE TO HELP.

 

Need someone to talk to? Is it time to plan a career change and stress less? If you go do with some help at this time please reach out. I’m here to help—wherever you are in the world.

“It was great to talk to someone objective who doesn’t have an agenda.”
Pete from South Africa

 

For personalized help schedule a session here >>

Who says we are isolated? There has never been a better time to be connected via our social media networks and other technologies.

 

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Tuesday, October 6th, 2020

How others sabotage points the way to our passion and purpose

 

 

“The wound is the place where the light enters you” ~ Rumi


I wish to address the “stigma and misconceptions” surrounding mental health and in particular the trauma, often untreated, of the wounds of childhood, and offer hope and strategies to help.

As a child therapist, I have had the privilege of hearing from boys and girls, young and old, who told me that their mummies didn’t love them as they should.

“If I was my mother, I wouldn’t drink,” one 8-year-old said. His father was in prison and his mother was at the pub. Luckily he had an excellent GRAND-mummy who was raising him and bringing him to therapy to help with his anger issues.

“My mother wanted custody of my sister, but she didn’t come for me. She doesn’t want me. She doesn’t love me. I’m no good,” a 12-year-old boy referred, also for anger issues, told me.

“I want to kill myself,” a 10-year-old boy sobbed. “My mother is always yelling at me. The more I try to do to make her happy, the more chores she gives me and then she shouts when I can’t do it all. She wouldn’t care if I died.”

Look into their mother’s history, as I helped these children do, and as I have done to heal my own wounds, and they discover that their mothers are walking wounded. Their mummies (and daddies) rather than learn from their childhoods victimise all or some of their children.

One woman, now in her mid-fifties, was the daughter of a mother raised by an alcoholic. “I don’t remember my mother ever being sober,” her mother once confided in her. “And my father flew into violent rages” (and so did her husband).

A child of divorced parents once said to her mother, “If you don’t love my dad that means you don’t love half of me.”

I can see the logic, but also the mistaken belief – because her mother had raised her on her own and had given her more love than 202 fathers ever could.

Reflecting now, I wonder if a mother doesn’t or can’t love her daughter perhaps there is 50 per cent or more about herself that she doesn’t love either. Perhaps because of the damage inflicted by her mummy (or daddy) too.

Only love loves. It’s often a hard lesson to learn. So many unloved children suffer from mental illnesses, which if left unexamined extends into adulthood.

“I was four or five I ran away from home. It’s my earliest memory of wanting to find someone to love me,” a client shared with me. “I think my mother-story started at birth. I was the first-born— a girl. Not the son my parents wanted. But perhaps the daughter upon whom my father doted. They quickly tried again. My brother, my mother’s favourite, arrived with lungs that never stopped yelling, 11 months after I was born.”

“Don’t show off,” her mother scolded my client, then a child, when she would come home from school with A’s. “Don’t do so well, you know your three brothers find school hard.”

She told me that all of her siblings later excelled commercially.

“Don’t do this. Don’t do that. Don’t be that. Don’t wear that. Don’t say that. Whack! Don’t be left-handed,” she was told with smack and smack.

“Don’t! Don’t. I soon lost myself. I became a mummy pleaser. Or, rather, I tried. Bending over to try to be loved, keeping quiet when I wanted to cry or share something that made me happy. I pursued careers in accounting and banking to make my parents happy—at the cost of my own mental and emotional health.”

I can assure you people-pleasing is not a winner’s strategy. If someone has taken a dislike to you, sometimes, like a person who hates eating fish, their distaste never changes.

Nor should you.

If you can’t be loved by your mother unconditionally then love yourself unconditionally. Warts, pimples, freckles, flaws and extraordinary talents and all.  Because you are a star. We all are. Some stars live in dark galaxies, and others need to live in the light to shine brightly.

 

Promise me you won’t play small to make others feel tall. Be greater today than the story of your past. 

In John Dufresne’s excellent guide to writing a novel, Is Life Like This? he writes:

“We read novels because we need stories; we crave them; we can’t live without telling them and hearing them. Stories are how we make sense of our lives and of the world. When we’re distressed and go to therapy, our therapist’s job is to help us tell our story. Life doesn’t come with plots; it’s messy and chaotic; life is one damn, inexplicable thing after another. And we can’t have that. We insist on meaning. And so we tell stories so that our lives make sense.”

Everyone’s mean-mother story is unique. As one of my clients shared, “My issues with my Mum were a bit different.  She definitely had a victim mentality and while she would say she was proud of me and my brother with our achievements, there was always a little dig about how much luckier we were than she was.   She ‘took umbrage’ (her words) to everything and always seemed to turn an innocuous comment into a personal attack on her.   Threatened suicide several times which meant every time I had a fight with her, I had to ring one of her friends afterwards to check in on her to make sure she hadn’t done anything stupid.   I think when Dad left (when I was 15), she defined herself as a divorced woman and never recovered.”

Of course, it’s not just mums that can be mean, or manipulative. There’s plenty of mean and toxic dads out there.  If you think you were or are unlucky to have your mum or dad, I promise you one day you’ll look back and you’ll understand why you had your parents.

Like my book coaching client Heather who channelled her lack of love into teaching and later became a children’s self-empowerment author.

Similarly, author and creator of Hay House books, Louise Hay who was sexually and emotionally abused as a child, transformed her wounds into wisdom. Hay’s success lay in highlighting the power of our words to both heal and harm.

David Chase, the creator of The Sopranos, based Livia heavily on his own mother, Norma Chase. He described her as being paranoid, sharp-tongued, abusive, and disregarding her son’s career achievements. Many of Livia’s memorable lines, such as “Poor you” (something my mother said whenever I tried to tell her how I felt) are what Norma Chase would say. Rather than be victimised he spent time in psychotherapy and channelled his experiences of growing up with a narcissistic mother into the mother of gangster Tony Sopranos.

Kiwi songbird, Kiri Te Kanawa, shared how her childhood wounds taught her an important life lesson. Kiri was born in Gisborne, New Zealand, on March 6, 1944, into a family that was too poor to keep her and she was adopted. “I learned early on to be self-reliant,” she once shared.

Actress Drew Barrymore divorced both her parents when she was fifteen.

In short, it’s easy to imagine who you may have become had your mother (or father) been kinder, nicer, sweeter.


But what if the real tragedy is, who would you not have become had life treated you differently? What if your life unfolded exactly as it should? What if there was a divine plan? There’s magic in believing that!

“Go laugh in the places you cried. Change the narrative. Everything aligns.

Which is why I write my books, especially those in the Transformational Super Kids series. Doesn’t the girl on my cover looks so happy!

If you’ve suffered at the hands of a mean or deranged parent here are just a few of some of the helpful resources I have found:

6 Signs You Have A Toxic Mother

https://www.bustle.com/articles/123975-6-signs-you-have-a-toxic-mother

 

Mean Mothers: Overcoming the Legacy of Hurt

Drawn from research and the real-life experience Peggy Streep has channelled her childhood experiences into an eye-opening exploration of the darker side of maternal behaviour and offers support.

 

The Power Is Within You

Louise Hay, who suffered emotional and sexual abuse as a child, narrating an excerpt from her Audiobook

https://youtu.be/LA4AXvz9AHc

 

Reprogram Your Mind Through Affirmations

My favourite hypnotherapist Marisa Peer shares empowering affirmations and examples from her life, including being told that she was ugly and wasn’t as smart as her brother. Learn to break the emotional blueprint of your parents; Discover the healing power of expressing your thoughts in a believing mirror – and making it funny.

https://youtu.be/L57HYnWVNfk

 

5 Ways Being Too Nice Can Hurt You

Kindness is always cool, but being a pushover can hurt you. Here’s a great article to help

https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/5-ways-being-too-nice-can-hurt-you.html?fbclid=IwAR1hUyHwI9ADea7lVbHUXT9Z8nn9sQ1vU1ii3LTVxuA9OA1z_KwzXScnW4w

 

How To Fail With Elizabeth Day

Many people with mother-wounds battle a failure mindset. This podcast celebrates the things that haven’t gone right. Every week, a new interviewee explores what their failures taught them about how to succeed better.

https://overcast.fm/itunes1407451189/how-to-fail-with-elizabeth-day

 

Complex Trauma

Many children whose mummies don’t love them can suffer from mental health challenges later in life. This article explores how ‘complex trauma’ can affect children and common effects. So often diagnosis sparks the beginning of healing. If you or someone you know has suffered from childhood neglect seeking the help of a  skilled therapist can be life-changing.

https://www.nctsn.org/what-is-child-trauma/trauma-types/complex-trauma/effects

 

Why would a mother sabotage her daughter’s success? You may be surprised how common it is

Read more here>>

And here’s a few thoughts from me:

  • Do what you love – joy boost your natural feel-good chemicals
  • Reading books or watching movies is a very good distraction
  • Say no to other peoples’ drama, affirm, “It’s not my monkey, this is your circus.”
  • Visualise what toxic behaviour looks like and summon the image when you need reminding of your own goodness. My image is a bulging, black rubbish bag (inspired by the three bags of crap someone threw from their car). People love hurling their own toxic shit at others
  • Don’t buy into other peoples lies. “You’re a failure” “You’re no good.” “You’re a disgrace.” “You’re selfish”. Or whatever toxic waste your accuser spews from their rancid mouth.
  • You do not need permission to remove yourself from an abusers tirades
  • Remember, it’s not you, It’s them. Be on guard for people with untreated NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) – it’s as pervasive as COVID-19 and just as toxic. As I shared in The Little Princess:

Happy people don’t attack others, the young woman reminded herself. Happy people don’t talk like this.

The little princess suddenly felt grateful for what the nurse was teaching her.

The little princess knew she would never be able to find and honour her soul purpose if she kept trying to please others.

The little princess would never be true to herself if she feared disapproval.

The little princess would never share her gifts and talents and passion with the world if she stayed small and showed no courage.

Follow your bliss dear readers—don’t let anyone stop you from sharing your passion and purpose with the world.

Much love
xxxx

 

 

To enjoy your copy from Amazon, click here: viewbook.at/WhyDoesntMummyLoveMe

To enjoy  your copy from iBooks, Barnes & Noble and other great bookstores, click here: https://books2read.com/u/38MdW6

To enjoy your copy from Kobo, click here:
https://www.kobo.com/en/ebook/why-doesn-t-my-mummy-love-me

AUDIOBOOK
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/audiobook/why-doesn-t-mummy-love-me

 

 

 

WHAT THIS BOOK IS ABOUT

Love yourself unconditionally. Be a magic mummy!
When Annie’s mummy is mean to her she tries harder to please her, but nothing works. She believes she’s unlovable and thinks she’s bad. Until her friend, Lulu shares her story and tells Annie that some mummies don’t know how to love.

This is a classic, empowering book that every child, teenager and adult should have the joy of reading.
With a unique combination of beautifully simple stories, comforting words, and powerful uplifting messages, Cassandra has been delighting young children, teenagers and adults for over fifty years.

Cassandra cuts to the heart of the lesson we all need to hear, over and over again, helping us learn to self-soothe, surround ourselves with positive influences, be empowered and love ourselves unconditionally.

Creator of the delightfully beautiful and courageous, The Little Princess, Cassandra Gaisford is a global best-seller.
Why Doesn’t Mummy Love Me? is an inspiring story and personal development guide for girls with themes on self-love, self-esteem, self-reliance and resilience.

This book is especially for you if you’re:

  • The child (young or old) of an abusive parent, narcissist or a mother with borderline personality disorder, this book will aid hope and healing
  • A therapist—this book will help empower your clients
  • A caregiver or friend of an abandoned child, this book will aid understanding

What readers say

“A really good story. Very real and relatable…
I love that the Transformational Super Kids stories have a real rhythm to them that makes for easy reading for a child. Too often, I think stories along these lines still put the onus on the reader to change themselves to somehow appease the other person. Cassandra did not. In a very subtle way she has got across that the mother’s behaviour was unacceptable and that Annie caring about herself was not selfish but necessary. And lastly, the talk of being a magic mummy has a real sparkle to it – something a child could imagine doing and a helpful way out of a difficult situation.” 

~ Laura V.

I’m super excited to let you know the audio version of my new release. Why Doesn’t Mummy Love Me, is now available from Kobo (and other retailers and libraries too>>https://www.kobo.com/us/en/audiobook/why-doesn-t-mummy-love-me.  Listen to a free sample or purchase today:)

Suitable for children of all ages…yes, big kids too!

THOSE PAPERBACK AND EBOOK LINKS AGAIN:

To enjoy your copy from Amazon, click here:

viewbook.at/WhyDoesntMummyLoveMe

To enjoy  your copy from iBooks, Barnes & Noble and other great bookstores, click here: https://books2read.com/u/38MdW6

To enjoy your copy from Kobo, click here:

https://www.kobo.com/en/ebook/why-doesn-t-my-mummy-love-me

ENJOY!

P.S. Are you being bullied? Heed the call for courage. You’ll love the first book in the series, The Little Princess.

To read the first book in Cassandra’s Transformational Super Kids series, The Little Princess:

Amazon:

getbook.at/TheLittlePrincess

To purchase the eBook on Apple, Barnes, and Noble, Kobo and other online stores>>

https://books2read.com/u/b5709p

To purchase the eBook on Kobo >>

https://www.kobo.com/nz/en/ebook/the-little-princess-7

AUDIOBOOKS

USA

https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Little-Princess-Audiobook/B07WPH2KML

UK

https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/The-Little-Princess-Audiobook/B07WXPMFGC

Australia

https://www.audible.com.au/pd/The-Little-Princess-Audiobook/B07WYGKB5R

 

 

 

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Do you feel guilty for wanting more from your career and life?

How Not to Let Things That Make You Sad Get in the Way of Being Happy

 Why Being Inspired Matters: The Spontaneous Fulfillment and Healing Power of Joy

 

If you’d like to learn more about how you can follow your passion and purpose and create a rewarding career, click here http://www.worklifesolutions.nz/coach-training

 

Here are three more things you might like:


Interesting interviews: Listen to my best interviews on topics like overcoming obstacles, finding joy in adversity, following your passion to prosperity.


Online Course: Find Your Passion and Purpose with my best-selling self-paced course made for busy people.


Keynote speaking: Hire me to speak to your organization or team about Resilience, wellbeing, innovation, and motivation.

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